Yesterday, I think I hit rock bottom. When saying that, I mean I think I hit an all time low of  a bad habit I've been trying to kick.
The bad habit: surfing on my phone (social media for the most part but anything in general.)
I get off of work around 5 p.m most days and I went straight to the grocery store, which always takes me longer than it needs to be. This is because grocery stores overwhelm me and I stand in aisles contemplating if I should get the ice-cream or not, how everything is so processed, if I'm forgetting something, if I'm finding the cheapest deal or is this the healthiest brand or if I should just leave and come back another day?
I got home with several grocery bags in hand, leaving behind the ice-cream reluctantly, and immediately started cooking hdinner for my boyfriend and I. We didn't even start eating until 7:30. Now, this is later for us than normal to start dinner but needless to say there wasn't much more free time for myself left in the day. Now me explaining this is what lead to me justifying my actions.
What did I do? I "cleaned" up the mess from dinner and then washed my face and then crashed into bed and also crashed deep into the virtual world on my phone. I couldn't stop. I delete my apps but then temptation crawls in and I tell myself I'm just going to "glance" at a few things and of course it never happens. I'm also never left feeling satisfied. I'm left with my brain feeling like its melted after an hour of non-stop scrolling.
I hate being addicted to anything. Not that I have any addictions per say but I'd qualify this as one. Once I started reflecting on how much I use my phone, the more I realized how much of a problem I had. I even wake up and the first thing I do is scroll. How sad is that? To wake me up, I have to scroll through garbage and then continue the downward spiral while I eat breakfast and scroll some more? No. I had to put a stop to it. Or at least I needed to find a healthy balance.
My solution: Quite cold turkey.  To manage the bad habit I have to get rid of it to realize what I'm missing out on. So, last night I deleted all my apps and by apps I mean my social media ones I spent the most time on. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube and Pinterest. I'm debating about deleting my damn google app since my self-control is at an all time low. I've so far only used it for looking up nearby medical centers so I could make a doctors appointment which seems like a productive thing for me to do since I refuse to go to the doctors. I will confess, since I can't get any more honest, I have an app called bloglovin' that I was scrolling through but I allowed myself to keep it because I don't use it too often since most of time is spent on other apps. It's also something I can read since it has articles and I will give it some credit for inspiring me to write this current blog post.
So, to me I'm so far off to a good start. My productivity level at work has gone up, I was able to schedule appointments this morning and I've gotten a lot done.
So, with all of this reflection I thought I'd share an "entry" a day and by Friday I'll post up all my entry's on how it's gone and the effect it's had on me. Maybe I can even go until Sunday. (DOUBTFUL.)
My hopes are, that I can be productive this week and by that I mean, working out every day, reading a book, writing blog posts and also just enjoying life. No one should feel consumed by anything because the only thing that should have control over your life is yourself.

Until Friday, or maybe before with some recipes, have a great week and for the sake of your sanity, stay off your damn phones!

Xox Jens to blame