I got off the blog train for awhile and I've been trying to conjure a reason why I took a hiatus but couldn't come up with a great reason. I think I've felt that I haven't had much to offer anyone, and everything I did come up with didn't feel authentic or original. Then again, is any idea an “original” idea? I've come to realize that I can't compare what I write to others and that I should write whatever I am inspired by even if it's been done before, I can give a perspective that no one else can because it's my own.
I thought the best way to start up again, would be to offer up my “2017 list of changes.” I write a list of “changes” if you will, that I either want to get better at or accomplish in the new year. I never look at it as a resolution because by definition a resolution is, “a firm decision to do or not to do something” and I don't believe you should make yourself not human by setting a bar that high. In no way does that mean I think you can't make resolutions and stick by them because it's possible, I just don't do it for myself because they personally never work.




I also like to reflect on each year. What did I struggle with the most? What can I get better at? What is my best memory? How can I do more of that? Every year, you will have highs and lows but to me the best way to make changes is to see what simply made me the most happy and what made me the least happy. I like to start with, what made me the least happy first and figure out what I can do to change that. For me personally, I had a really great year, despite some sadness and tragedies along the way. However, a constant recurrence of sadness was surrounded by one or two things. One of them was some friendships that I've had a very hard time letting go of. I've felt this constant battle of trying to keep up and please people and make an effort to be involved in their lives but always left in the dust feeling alone. Their did come a point when I distanced myself because you can only feel like the last priority on someone's list for so long before you simply just remove yourself from their list altogether. However, I'm a very forgiving person and never like tension and just want peace so I would somehow always come back around to making myself vulnerable but then get let down again. I don't want to ever get rid of that part of me because I'd rather be forgiving than callous. I do believe that I need to learn to put effort into things I'm passionate about more, because it's a waste of passion that could create something someone can see rather than having nothing to show for it.






Now on to some of my happiest moments. The first would be when I moved. I still pinch myself because it was the best decision I could have made. I'm happier and more alive. I want to travel and see more of the world. It's refreshing to go out to the grocery store and not know anyone and to be challenged to do new things everyday. My closest friends have brought me so much happiness too. I want to wrap them all up into the biggest hug and never let go because they have been right there with me when I moved and I never felt like they were that far. If you have a small group of friends, cherish them and take care of them. I've learned the importance of close friendships over the year and understand the importance of having close friendships that you can share your life with. Surround yourself with people that share your interests, who have similar life plans of where they want to be, because you will feed off of that energy and it will make your life better. Have friends that also challenge you, that have differences but I've noticed that having friends that do share similar ideas of what they consider to be “fun,” highly important. Now go find your friends and give them a huge hug because they are awesome! I do have to include, that some of my happiest moments have also been with my boyfriend. We were separated from each other during the summer due to an “internship” that took him away from me for several months. It all worked out though cause he got a job after the internship and we moved to Virginia and lived happily ever after with our two kittens. Seriously though, that kid is special. Not the “special” you're thinking, but special to my heart. He's also very weird but our weirdness evens out, so it's been a fairytale of weirdness.


So, Zack and I were talking about what we wanted to change for the New Year and he said, “Nothing! I'm perfect!” That's not true, he didn't say that. He did say simply, “moderation,” which I liked a whole lot and inspired me to write a list of change and write this blog post. So, thanks Zack!





So here lies, forevermore, my “2017 List of Change:”


Eat out less (it's become a hobby)
Consistently workout
Pick a new hobby & do it at least twice a week (mine is learn French and zack wants to play the sax)
Play more board games
Less social media
Write up a financial plan (already yawning)
Save! Start a joint account to save for future home, a trip ect.
Read more! I have time and need to make time.
Blog a whole hell of a lot more!
Follow through. This one is tough and obviously hypothetical unless I actually follow through.
Challenge myself. I want to do some things this year that are out of my comfort zone because I hate leaving the comfort of my zone.
Write more. Write, write and write some more.
Get involved in a church.
Join a club.
Be more active.
See a play!
Go to a concert.
Write letters to family and friends.
“If you don't need it, don't buy it”
Stay organized.


I think my motto this year will be “moderation with some mild splurge, because you're only in your 20’s once.” I made that up. You've gotta “treat yo self” sometimes. I didn't make the “treat yo self” quote up however, the credit is due to, Parks and Rec, a show that I would highly recommend watching. With that, I will conclude this segment of Jens to Blame, until next time!
Cheers to another year of learning your faults, your strengths, your happiness, and choosing to make your year better. Always remember, your attitude reflects what you will feel.
See you in the new year.