It's Spelled R-E-S-P-E-C-T
8:35 AM
I'm going to start off with a true story about myself because I'm narcissistic like that.
Mind you this is one of MANY similar stories that have occurred to me. So, this particular time stood out to me more than others because it not only scared the living sh** out of me, it changed my perceptive and also angered me.
It was give or take a little less than a year ago and I was up in the East Lansing area for school right by Michigan State (go green!) I was in a dental program in the area that was destroying my soul with the amount of work I had to do each day. I had just gotten done with my five hours of class.....(yes five hours non-stop with only a fifteen minute lunch break.) SORRY, I'm done ranting about it, it was just a dark time in my life. Anyway, after class I went back to my apartment changed out of my scrubs, then searched the fridge for something I could stuff my face with. I stood staring at the fridge for a solid five minutes hoping something would just appear but to my surprise nothing did. So, i decided to venture out to get myself something to eat. Grand River is one of the biggest streets separating Michigan State campus and most of the living quarters for students around East Lansing. My point of mentioning this is that its a very busy street with students walking everywhere. It has almost any source of food you could imagine in reasonable walking distance. I have two legs, I'm hungry, I can walk to get myself some food without driving right? Wrong. I was about ten minutes into my journey to get some Chipole when I hear some whistling to the side of me and then a man say "Hey, you're looking fine." I looked and saw two guys around the same age as me, sitting at a light in there car, windows rolled down, staring me down. I just smiled, rolled my eyes, and continued walking. I could faintly hear them shout a few more remarks as I walked across the street shaking my head. Twelve minutes in. I hear a group of guys walking behind me. My heart immediately dropped. Why? Why did I immediately feel unsafe and vulnerable? Of course as I expected, a group of guys together have an ego the size of Justin Beiber (idk he seems to have a huge ego.) I hear them whistle....first of all I am speaking mainly to men but to all people in general who whistle at people they find attractive, WHISTLING MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DOUCHE SO JUST STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. I kept walking as if I hadn't heard them. They continued to make remarks then one of them spoke up and said "Where is your fine ass off to tonight?" I replied "I'm getting food." Then I looked at my phone trying to pretend I was distracted. The remarks continued for the next five minutes as they followed me down the street. I eventually got so sick of it that I went and found sanctuary at Starbucks then entirely abandoning my plan of going to Chipole, went and got a smoothie at Tropical Smoothie across the street instead. However, the annoyance I had felt was not about to end. I had to walk back to my apartment. As expected on my way back, I am bombarded by a group of men. This time I felt a little more unsettled than the last group of guys had made me feel. They looked older maybe mid to late twenties and this is not me stereotyping at all this was just my observation and I could be entirely be wrong but they didn't go to Michigan State and I knew that for certain because they told me. There pick-up-line was "We aren't from around here but someone as sexy as you must know your way around here." First of all how does being 'sexy' mean i know my way around places? I'm actually directionally challenged. But I won't forget the way he looked at me.....as if I was just an object, not even an actual person. He eyeballed me up and down while biting his lip and all of his friends laughing while saying "Damnnnnnn." Quite frankly I just wanted to immediately book them all for an eye appointment because I was straight up in workout clothes, sweat dripping down my face and two day old hair. Thats beside the point. At this point my annoyance level was through the roof so my normal polite demeanor went into full "I want nothing to do with you mode." I just rolled my eyes and walked right past them not saying a word (yeah that will teach them lol I wasn't in the mood to get in a verbal argument, plus I didn't want to piss them off cause I was alone.) I heard them yelling at me as I walked by and then looked back and saw them walking toward me. I stopped dead in my tracks turned around and said "What do you want?" "Chill...." one of the guys said while raising his arms up as in defeat but with a stupid smirk on his face like harassing an innocent girl trying to just get some damn Chipole was so funny to him. They backed off and I booked it back to my apartment. I glanced back once and saw they were still walking causally my way while laughing at each other. I didn't look back again until I got back to my apartment, locked the doors, sat on the couch fuming with rage. I wasn't even filled with fear at this point, it was just pure rage. How unfair is it, that I can't walk down a street to get food without being harassed? I want food all the time so does that mean I need to trap myself inside until someone can chaperone me? The answer is no. Most people that actually read my story the whole way through would think I would never dare to enter the dangerous street of Grand River again alone and if I did dare to go again alone I was just "asking for it." I am currently laughing out loud. No, I am not the issue. The people making someone feel unsafe for no apparent reason is unfair. I did walk Grand River again alone and yes I got harassed a few more times and I may have been a little more vocal about my annoyance the next several times because I have the right to walk a street alone without having to feel violated. I am a person.
This has been something that I have wanted to share with people on several occasions but have felt that society has tainted the word "feminism." Now hold it right there. This is not a "feminist" post. I mean who cares if it was? But I'm warning you its not. Im not hear to bash men. I'm not hear to say "All men are pigs! Don't walk down a street alone!" Actually I'm trying to discuss quite the opposite. Yes, the fact of the matter is we do live in a world where women aren't treated completely equal. Is this just mens fault? No, its societies fault. Its what we have excepted to be the norm. America has come a long way but stories like my own and from many others prove that women are not respected as they should. When I have a son (because I refuse to have girls, ironic eh?) I want to teach them that they should never treat a woman like they are inferior to men. That they are equals. My hope with that mindset is that it will teach them to respect women as they will respect their own sex. It's easier to have respect for something you know and understand. Its harder to put yourself in someone else's perspective. We are different but whether we like it or not we are stuck with each other. Now Im rambling and trying to get all inspirational but it is a hope I have along with many others. I know many men and women will read this roll their eyes that I should be concerned with more important issues of the world because I have been told this before when discussing it to both friends and family members of both sexes. Yes, the severity of my alleged "harassment" is small in retrospect to what other people have gone through. However, it doesn't mean it shouldn't matter. I think small stories like these are all intertwined with what people would call "drastic stories" and ones that matter. Such as someone being raped, or women of other counties who have zero rights and are treated like scum day in and day out. I think this is all connected. And it should be brought up and talked about.
With that being said I hope men can feel open to the discussion as well. Men also struggle from the pressures society puts on them. Culture has put the pressures of men feeling like they cannot express feelings and they should be the "provider." Now this is a generic statement and not all of society preaches this but I bet a lot of men feel these pressures. I hope we can let go of these so we can both have a better understanding of eachother.
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