Jens to Blame

Jens to Blame

Jens to Blame xo

I got off the blog train for awhile and I've been trying to conjure a reason why I took a hiatus but couldn't come up with a great reason. I think I've felt that I haven't had much to offer anyone, and everything I did come up with didn't feel authentic or original. Then again, is any idea an “original” idea? I've come to realize that I can't compare what I write to others and that I should write whatever I am inspired by even if it's been done before, I can give a perspective that no one else can because it's my own.
I thought the best way to start up again, would be to offer up my “2017 list of changes.” I write a list of “changes” if you will, that I either want to get better at or accomplish in the new year. I never look at it as a resolution because by definition a resolution is, “a firm decision to do or not to do something” and I don't believe you should make yourself not human by setting a bar that high. In no way does that mean I think you can't make resolutions and stick by them because it's possible, I just don't do it for myself because they personally never work.




I also like to reflect on each year. What did I struggle with the most? What can I get better at? What is my best memory? How can I do more of that? Every year, you will have highs and lows but to me the best way to make changes is to see what simply made me the most happy and what made me the least happy. I like to start with, what made me the least happy first and figure out what I can do to change that. For me personally, I had a really great year, despite some sadness and tragedies along the way. However, a constant recurrence of sadness was surrounded by one or two things. One of them was some friendships that I've had a very hard time letting go of. I've felt this constant battle of trying to keep up and please people and make an effort to be involved in their lives but always left in the dust feeling alone. Their did come a point when I distanced myself because you can only feel like the last priority on someone's list for so long before you simply just remove yourself from their list altogether. However, I'm a very forgiving person and never like tension and just want peace so I would somehow always come back around to making myself vulnerable but then get let down again. I don't want to ever get rid of that part of me because I'd rather be forgiving than callous. I do believe that I need to learn to put effort into things I'm passionate about more, because it's a waste of passion that could create something someone can see rather than having nothing to show for it.






Now on to some of my happiest moments. The first would be when I moved. I still pinch myself because it was the best decision I could have made. I'm happier and more alive. I want to travel and see more of the world. It's refreshing to go out to the grocery store and not know anyone and to be challenged to do new things everyday. My closest friends have brought me so much happiness too. I want to wrap them all up into the biggest hug and never let go because they have been right there with me when I moved and I never felt like they were that far. If you have a small group of friends, cherish them and take care of them. I've learned the importance of close friendships over the year and understand the importance of having close friendships that you can share your life with. Surround yourself with people that share your interests, who have similar life plans of where they want to be, because you will feed off of that energy and it will make your life better. Have friends that also challenge you, that have differences but I've noticed that having friends that do share similar ideas of what they consider to be “fun,” highly important. Now go find your friends and give them a huge hug because they are awesome! I do have to include, that some of my happiest moments have also been with my boyfriend. We were separated from each other during the summer due to an “internship” that took him away from me for several months. It all worked out though cause he got a job after the internship and we moved to Virginia and lived happily ever after with our two kittens. Seriously though, that kid is special. Not the “special” you're thinking, but special to my heart. He's also very weird but our weirdness evens out, so it's been a fairytale of weirdness.


So, Zack and I were talking about what we wanted to change for the New Year and he said, “Nothing! I'm perfect!” That's not true, he didn't say that. He did say simply, “moderation,” which I liked a whole lot and inspired me to write a list of change and write this blog post. So, thanks Zack!





So here lies, forevermore, my “2017 List of Change:”


Eat out less (it's become a hobby)
Consistently workout
Pick a new hobby & do it at least twice a week (mine is learn French and zack wants to play the sax)
Play more board games
Less social media
Write up a financial plan (already yawning)
Save! Start a joint account to save for future home, a trip ect.
Read more! I have time and need to make time.
Blog a whole hell of a lot more!
Follow through. This one is tough and obviously hypothetical unless I actually follow through.
Challenge myself. I want to do some things this year that are out of my comfort zone because I hate leaving the comfort of my zone.
Write more. Write, write and write some more.
Get involved in a church.
Join a club.
Be more active.
See a play!
Go to a concert.
Write letters to family and friends.
“If you don't need it, don't buy it”
Stay organized.


I think my motto this year will be “moderation with some mild splurge, because you're only in your 20’s once.” I made that up. You've gotta “treat yo self” sometimes. I didn't make the “treat yo self” quote up however, the credit is due to, Parks and Rec, a show that I would highly recommend watching. With that, I will conclude this segment of Jens to Blame, until next time!
Cheers to another year of learning your faults, your strengths, your happiness, and choosing to make your year better. Always remember, your attitude reflects what you will feel.
See you in the new year.

Yesterday, I think I hit rock bottom. When saying that, I mean I think I hit an all time low of  a bad habit I've been trying to kick.
The bad habit: surfing on my phone (social media for the most part but anything in general.)
I get off of work around 5 p.m most days and I went straight to the grocery store, which always takes me longer than it needs to be. This is because grocery stores overwhelm me and I stand in aisles contemplating if I should get the ice-cream or not, how everything is so processed, if I'm forgetting something, if I'm finding the cheapest deal or is this the healthiest brand or if I should just leave and come back another day?
I got home with several grocery bags in hand, leaving behind the ice-cream reluctantly, and immediately started cooking hdinner for my boyfriend and I. We didn't even start eating until 7:30. Now, this is later for us than normal to start dinner but needless to say there wasn't much more free time for myself left in the day. Now me explaining this is what lead to me justifying my actions.
What did I do? I "cleaned" up the mess from dinner and then washed my face and then crashed into bed and also crashed deep into the virtual world on my phone. I couldn't stop. I delete my apps but then temptation crawls in and I tell myself I'm just going to "glance" at a few things and of course it never happens. I'm also never left feeling satisfied. I'm left with my brain feeling like its melted after an hour of non-stop scrolling.
I hate being addicted to anything. Not that I have any addictions per say but I'd qualify this as one. Once I started reflecting on how much I use my phone, the more I realized how much of a problem I had. I even wake up and the first thing I do is scroll. How sad is that? To wake me up, I have to scroll through garbage and then continue the downward spiral while I eat breakfast and scroll some more? No. I had to put a stop to it. Or at least I needed to find a healthy balance.
My solution: Quite cold turkey.  To manage the bad habit I have to get rid of it to realize what I'm missing out on. So, last night I deleted all my apps and by apps I mean my social media ones I spent the most time on. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube and Pinterest. I'm debating about deleting my damn google app since my self-control is at an all time low. I've so far only used it for looking up nearby medical centers so I could make a doctors appointment which seems like a productive thing for me to do since I refuse to go to the doctors. I will confess, since I can't get any more honest, I have an app called bloglovin' that I was scrolling through but I allowed myself to keep it because I don't use it too often since most of time is spent on other apps. It's also something I can read since it has articles and I will give it some credit for inspiring me to write this current blog post.
So, to me I'm so far off to a good start. My productivity level at work has gone up, I was able to schedule appointments this morning and I've gotten a lot done.
So, with all of this reflection I thought I'd share an "entry" a day and by Friday I'll post up all my entry's on how it's gone and the effect it's had on me. Maybe I can even go until Sunday. (DOUBTFUL.)
My hopes are, that I can be productive this week and by that I mean, working out every day, reading a book, writing blog posts and also just enjoying life. No one should feel consumed by anything because the only thing that should have control over your life is yourself.

Until Friday, or maybe before with some recipes, have a great week and for the sake of your sanity, stay off your damn phones!

Xox Jens to blame

I don't know why I was never warned about the incessant need to want to mark every inch with a piece of yourself when you have your own place. I found that out quite quickly however and have now changed my profession to an interior decorator. Coming up with a good color pallet you want your main living space to be really helps narrow down your search of what you're looking for as a theme in your place.
Now that I have that all established and have now given you all the warning that I was never given, I am going to give you a tutorial and review on the Annie Sloan chalk paint that I used to paint some pieces of furniture with. Remember when I said I had an incessant need to mark every inch of my new place?! I was not joking.

• Do your research: Before I got carried away I made sure I researched everything about the product. I was at first searching for techniques on how to give a rustic look to furniture and came across the Annie Sloan chalk paint again and again. I then narrowed my search and watched a lot of YouTube tutorials on how to properly use the paint. Since I have done the research I can save you some time so you can skip this step. I found that it was the fastest, trendiest "new" way of painting furniture. There is no need to prep the furniture, such as sanding or striping anything on the piece. Pretty much three steps is all it takes. Wipe down, paint and wax. The simplicity of it is what I found the most desirable. I know next to nothing on the techniques of properly painting furniture so this product seemed like "paint for dummies or paint for people who don't want to spend a million hours painting." 
• Finding Annie Sloan Chalk Paint: This product is not sold in most retail stores, such as Home depot. I however, got pretty lucky and found it at a upscale warehouse furniture store. You can go to the Annie Sloan website and search locations where they are sold near you, which is what I did or I would have never found it. www.anniesloan.com. 
• Picking your color: Going on the website you will find an array of different colors to choose from. Again, deciding on your color theme for your place is important because it is very easy to get carried away. I went with "Duck Egg Blue." My colors are blue, gray and white. 
• Waxes: Its pretty simple. There is a dark wax and a clear wax. The dark wax gives a very different look to pieces. Its almost as if you painted over black paint and some dark would show threw. This just all depends on what style you are looking for. A clear wax is what I went for and it doesn't really change the color or anything its just a protective layer to put over the paint so it doesn't chip or get worn out. 

THE COLOR

After one coat

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Look how pretty that is!

This was by far one of greatest times I've spend doing a project. I listened to my audio book and painted away and it was actually fun! The flip side is I now want to paint every piece of furniture in my apartment. Also, I must add, this was boyfriend approved. He loved it!